L is for Lack of Motivation

L is for “lack of motivation.” Or maybe I should say, “lazy!”  Do you have any children that just don’t seem to really care about their schoolwork….or chores….or improving themselves in any way? 

I’m not this way at all. When I was in school, I worked for good grades. At home, I worked for my parents’ affirmation. I always wanted others to think well of me. Two of my girls are the same way. Frankly, they were easy to raise because they are like me. I understood them. I didn’t have to keep on their backs to get things done. Not that their rooms didn’t look like disaster areas much of the time or that we never had issues to deal with. But they were good students, and when we had a problem area, it was easy to provide some “external motivation” through rewards and punishments.

My son’s school or work performance wasn’t always great. He wasn’t as motivated by grades and is somewhat disorganized but he has always had many interests and had a lot of initiative in some areas. When he got a job outside the home, he was a very hard worker and was promoted quickly.

Child #4 has thrown me for a loop, though. She doesn’t care about grades. She doesn’t really even care if she passes to the next grade. Pleasing me? Eh. It’s hard to even find any external rewards that will motivate her toward excellence in her work. She’s inclined to do just the bare minimum (which in many cases doesn’t begin to meet the standards I expect.) She can be very pleasant, cheerful, and even enthusiastic, but when it comes to following through, she’s happy to just float along with half-finished chores and school assignments. Very frustrating!